The Decliner

In the year 2012, per the Mayan Calendar and some hyeroglyphs in Guatemala or whatever, a mysterious celestial body (Planet X) will arrive and destroy most living things on Earth. Or so says The IHC: The Institute for Human Continuity.

You will, therefore, need to purchase one of their survival duffel bags (available in urban, seismic/volcano or coastal versions):

You’re not sure where you’re going to be. Or you plan to be on the move. You may be traveling with family or friends and you need a disaster kit that allows for maximum mobility and flexibility.

Unless, of course, you manage to get yourself aboard one of their celestial colonies or lunar bases, or their underground city in Antarctica (or an abandoned warehouse somewhere outside of San Diego.)

You can also register for their life lottery, before it’s too late.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher recently introduced HR. 4917, or the “Near Earth Object Preparedness Act,” and the IHC is very pleased:

The IHC would like to commend Dana Rohrbacher (R – CA) for introducing to Congress HR 4917, the “NEO Preparedness Act,” which if passed would establish an Office of Potentially Hazardous Near-Earth Object Preparedness. As Congressman Rohrbacher has acknowledged, NEOs “range in size from small dust particles to near planet sized behemoths.” As Planet X approaches our galaxy, its gravitational pull will interact with these NEOs in potentially disastrous ways for our planet. Please watch the Planet X Disaster Scenario to see the possible outcomes for 2012 in our Initiatives section.

You can now rest assured that our government is preparing for all possible contingencies.