The Decliner

Every year, the Alfalfa Club convenes in Washington, either to enjoy some filet mignon, lobster and/or to plot the re-birth of the Confederacy.

This year, the main guest of honor was President Barack Obama (awkward). As Political Machine previously reported, no one few ever seem to dwell on the fact that the Alfalfa banquet originally began as the yearly celebration of Robert E. Lee’s birthday.

Not sure what it celebrates now, though former Supreme Court Justice W. Rehnquist described it as a club that “met once a year to listen to patriotic music and ‘hear some funny political speeches.’” Well, OK.

Precious excerpts of Obama’s speech to the assembled:

I am seriously glad to be here tonight at the annual Alfalfa dinner. I know that many you are aware that this dinner began almost one hundred years ago as a way to celebrate the birthday of General Robert E. Lee. If he were here with us tonight, the General would be 202 years old. And very confused.

That’s pretty good humored, considering the Alfalfa Club did not admit blacks until the 1970’s, and women until 1994. For the record, women were finally admitted after Bill Clinton boycotted the event in 1993.

Obama did manage to include some jabs, as Politico reports:

“In just the first few weeks, I’ve had to engage in some of the toughest diplomacy of my life,” he said. “And that was just to keep my BlackBerry. I finally agreed to limit the number of people who could e-mail me. It’s a very exclusive list. How exclusive? Everyone look at the person sitting on your left. Now look at the person sitting on your right. None of you have my e-mail address.”

The black-tie dinner climaxed during the probable election of John McCain to the presidency of the United States (the Alfalfas nominate a presidential candidate each year, just for fun). It likely took several hours to convince Sarah Palin, also in attendance, that the nomination was not legally binding. Apparently she found a flight out of Alaska, after all.