The Decliner

The media is dying, the sky is falling, the horsemen of the apocalypse are riding alongside the Bloomberg stock ticker. Doom and gloom.

It’s easy to fall into the gaping hole of desperation that seems to be gripping the business world, and, in particular, the media (where yours truly happens to live).

Despite all the turmoil, a slow movement to innovate news content soldiers on, and by this I mean the emergence of the open API movement (API: application programming interface) which allows third-party developers to work with a publication’s content.

You can think of this in the same terms as Twitter: Developers work off a basic service (news, in this case) and develop specific applications, such as specialized search engines. The possibilities are as limitless as the ideas that an individual programmer with access to the API can come up with.

The New York Times was the most high profile newspaper to open its API to developers, and now The Guardian has followed suit. Now, you might think — so what? The API allows a newspaper/publication’s contents to be spread around the web for free, how is that different from what is happening now? The difference is that the information can carry certain pre-conditions, one of which is that developers join the publication’s own advertising network. This would be the internet’s equivalent of vendors, with the advantage that the vendors actually pay nothing for the content, just as long as they agree to be part of the source’s ad network. That’s money that goes back to a newspaper. And with the advent of “behavioral profiling ads” pioneered by Google, you can start to see the value in this.

There is, at the same time, much talk of bringing back the previously failed firewall (pay per article, or pay for premium content) business model, as recently as a few days ago it was touted as a “vital revenue stream” at Mediabistro’s TVNewser Summit in New York, attended by many publishing heavyweights. Even the New York Times seems to be interested in resurrecting its previously attempted Times Select firewall, which seems somewhat at odds with opening its API to third parties.

It’s difficult to gauge whether there is an overall strategy in place at large newspapers like the Times (that wouldn’t be my guess) or whether there are simply conflicting interests at work between business development departments and the bowels of its tech. and web departments (that is my guess) with entirely different ideas about internet strategies.

TechCrunch brings up a very good point in pointing out that The Guardian, for one, was able to put into action its open-API system quickly as it is run by a charitable trust “which does not have shareholders who would normally have a heart attack at such a move.”

There has been no shortage of experts arguing that the future of newspapers in the U.S. may lie in the hand of similar non-profit trusts, and there is a point to be made here. Regardless, if the business side can be convinced that there is a viable advertising model to be had in an open-API (and with revenue careening towards the bottom, as it is now) it may not be that difficult to make a convincing argument.

Rather than hiding content behind payed firewalls, the future may actually be in spreading content as far, and as quickly as possible. In a way, this would be no new model at all. Just as one looks at advertising on the paper version of the NYT, one might simply look at these ads online at a third-party site online somewhere, as far away from the source as a paper reader in California seeing an ad that was printed in New York.

TechCrunch sums it up: It helps that the paper is owned and run by a charitable trust which does not have shareholders who would normally have a heart attack at such a move. The payback is that apps developers are going to end up building an ad network for The Guardian as a result.

I’m always drawn to reading ad copy, particularly for products that I will never be able to afford, or would never want to own, could I even afford them. Some of the worst copy you’ll ever see is sometimes produced for real estate advertising, which is usually exploding with florid descriptions.

Regardless of the actual quality of a development, the location, or the square footage available, any brochure you read or website that you visit will do its utmost to convince you that this is the place, the most fabulous mid-range condominium you could ever hope to inhabit. Many do a terrible job accomplishing the latter.

The Morning News published a fun article recently entitled “The Hyperbole Towers,” which borrows copy from luxury New York city property marketing collateral and mashes them together into one long, ridiculous advertisement:

The living room is its own light-filled universe, well removed from the foyer and its comings and goings. Welcome to living room impact (sic) 20! The space is replete with the warmth of textured concrete and the understated elegance of a zinc light sculpture.

So, inspired by that article, I thought that it might be interesting to see the complete inverse of this experiment, and make copy for a luxury condominium sound as unappealing as possible:

• Constricted, oppressive, darkness-filled…[redacted]’s condominiums reject contemporary, highly functional design concepts by unknown and unproven architects [redacted] and [redacted]. The units range from one bedroom to one bedroom with a damp den, with two-level loft units completely unavailable. Homes feature low-end finishes, minimal storage and closet space, and none offer balconies and terraces with dramatic views of the city.

• With a community clubhouse, motel-style pool, and a decidedly outdated fitness center, [redacted] offers modest new condos in Northern Virginia within hours of traffic-congested Reston, Dulles, and Leesburg, where you can sample a severely limited mix of shopping, entertainment, and fast-food options.These one-, two- and three-bedroom sub-par condominiums by [redacted] feature diminutive designs (no lofts), hastily completed balconies or patios with building-interior views, and designer bathrooms with inexplicably small soaking tubs and single vanities.
• Offering breathtaking service alley views, nearby access to crime-infested Adams Morgan, over-priced Dupont Circle and 16th Street, [redacted] offers the best of DC living. Located on Meridian Hill, adjacent to the forlorn cascades and historically unsafe promenades of Meridian Hill Park, [redacted] offers a cosmopolitan experience like no other. With a graceless facade of brick and cast stone overly adorned with obtrusive bay windows, recessed balconies and French doors, [redacted] exudes turn-of-the-century excess. Its elaborate design clashing uncomfortably with neighboring architecture, providing a thankless companion to the classic Meridian and White-Meyer houses just across 17th Street. Each of the 29 town homes and English-style flats afford cumbersome entry to the joyless spaces within.

Remember, for all your future real estate ad copy needs, look no further than The Decliner.

Hailing from Sweden, where, as well all know, an inexplicably good amount of music originates, The Tough Alliance are childhood friends Henning Fürst and Eric Berglund. They have released two full-length studio albums: The New School (2006) and A New Chance (2008), as well as three EP’s.

You might think to yourself during a first listen of Neo Violence “are they serious?” and the answer would definitely be: yes, they definitely take it seriously. The Tough Alliance is playful, in a “New Order” sort of way — meaning it’s a little more complex than the hooks might imply at first.

Their music is an infectious kind of electronica, I won’t call it pop because it’s got a lot more of an edge than the genre implies, and saying “art pop” is a little irritating. The group is criticized in Sweden for their on-stage antics (like swinging baseball bats, and lip-synching), and they have developed a devoted following there. Obviously, Sweden’s media is a little more sensitive to these things than in the U.S.

There is a  weird sort of coexistence with The Tough Alliance’s indie electronica and mainstream top 40s music, you’re not likely to think that there is anything new in their music so much as a totally unexpected re-arrangement of things you’ve heard before. There isn’t a lot of new ground covered in between their two existing albums, so it remains to be seen whether their sound will mature or take any new directions.

The Tough Alliance: A New Chance

In the year 2012, per the Mayan Calendar and some hyeroglyphs in Guatemala or whatever, a mysterious celestial body (Planet X) will arrive and destroy most living things on Earth. Or so says The IHC: The Institute for Human Continuity.

You will, therefore, need to purchase one of their survival duffel bags (available in urban, seismic/volcano or coastal versions):

You’re not sure where you’re going to be. Or you plan to be on the move. You may be traveling with family or friends and you need a disaster kit that allows for maximum mobility and flexibility.

Unless, of course, you manage to get yourself aboard one of their celestial colonies or lunar bases, or their underground city in Antarctica (or an abandoned warehouse somewhere outside of San Diego.)

You can also register for their life lottery, before it’s too late.

Rep. Dana Rohrabacher recently introduced HR. 4917, or the “Near Earth Object Preparedness Act,” and the IHC is very pleased:

The IHC would like to commend Dana Rohrbacher (R – CA) for introducing to Congress HR 4917, the “NEO Preparedness Act,” which if passed would establish an Office of Potentially Hazardous Near-Earth Object Preparedness. As Congressman Rohrbacher has acknowledged, NEOs “range in size from small dust particles to near planet sized behemoths.” As Planet X approaches our galaxy, its gravitational pull will interact with these NEOs in potentially disastrous ways for our planet. Please watch the Planet X Disaster Scenario to see the possible outcomes for 2012 in our Initiatives section.

You can now rest assured that our government is preparing for all possible contingencies.

Do you remember when that Iraqi journalist tried to kill president George W. Bush by flinging shoes at his head? Of course not.

A few days ago a statue was unveiled to enshrine the event at an Iraqi orphanage in Tikrit. Now, the bizarre beautiful monument is gone, presumably forever (until it pops up in Tehran during a missile float parade):

The monument was reportedly taken down just a day after being unveiled in the late Saddam Hussein’s home town.

The head of the Childhood organisation, which owns the orphanage, said she had been told to remove the monument immediately by the Salaheddin Provincial Joint Coordination Centre.

The purple ticket holders that were trapped in a tunnel for, like, ten days, or something like that, unable to attend the most important and significant moment of all space/time, will not be denied satisfaction. As TNR reports:

Meyer suggested that, as a joke, he and McNee start a Facebook group called “Survivors of the Purple Tunnel of Doom.” They sent out invitations to only a handful of their friends–fellow activists and political consultants who, they knew, had held purple tickets. When McNee and Meyer checked the Facebook group that evening, however, its membership had ballooned to more than 1,000 people.

And as we all know by now, Facebook initiatives are the cornerstone of the modern activist movement. Who could forget the epic struggle of the “Bring back old facebook ya’ll!!1!” and “I bet I can get 1,000,000 people to hate Marianna DeAngelo forever” FB groups?

And that’s when Meyer and McNee–or, as she is now known by one of her fellow survivors, the “Purple Angel of Hope”–decided to turn their joke into a cause.

… the pair steered reporters toward, as McNee calls them, the “normal people … people who traveled all the way from California and spent thousands of dollars and didn’t get in”…

No one knows how this ordeal will end. The one thing we do know is that it is already very, very irritating.

For a few years now, there has been an ongoing one-up contest amongst developers looking to release ultra-cheap netbook concepts to emerging markets.

Most notably among them is One Laptop Per Child (chaired by Nicholas Negroponte), a non-profit created to deliver very affordable, internet-ready laptops to children in developing economies. Much of the technology that has emerged out of this project, and among competing projects, has been implemented in profitable, mass-market netbooks.

OLPC submitted a proposal to India’s government last year based on its “floating” price of $100-$175, which was rejected in favor of a cheaper, home built alternative. Well, now India has announced that a prototype will soon be released, and it will reportedly cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $10 to $20 USD.

It seems as though India is becoming an expert at releasing low-tech, but functional, and very affordable technology. One other notable example is Tata Motor’s air-powered vehicle.

I thought this was pretty interesting: A very high-resolution image of the Allied invasion of Normandy (or D-Day), the largest single-day amphibious invasion of all time, via Wikimedia:

His final stand was a glorious monologue of epic proportions. Alas, it was to no avail. Not only is Blagojevich removed as the governor of Illinois, but he is barred from ever holding office in the state, for ever and ever. He will also be sterilized.

Be sure to watch the magnificent spectacle that was his defense.